The Joy of Togetherness

It is hard to believe that this is now the second week since I left the studio and the work that I had become so familiar with. I am slowly getting into this new rhythm of not really having to be anywhere at any time (ie: not working!) To be honest, I find myself quite much busier than when I was working, but it is different, not having to run after time! My final class at the studio was perfect. It was in sync with the theme for the week, which was about the joy of togetherness- the beauty of the kula. Here it is for those who missed it...

What is the kula?
Kula in sanskrit directly translates as community. It is also derived from another sanskrit word 'kula siddhi' and is the idea that all creation in the universe is connected and is in a relationship with each other, no matter how diverse. These connections are why the universe continues to expand. 
Simply, a kula is us- a group of people with similar interest, similar passions, beliefs, values, who come together to share in this love and to grow together.

Every time you come to your shala, your sangha, your club, you meet your kula. In our yoga class, a few things happens....
You roll out your mat and you greet your little universe, the manifestation of your life..
You meet each other, a connection happens
You start your practice and you start to meet your challenges, your tendencies, sometimes, your demons. Some days there is laughter, other days frustration, some days are flat, some days are illuminating. Whatever it is, you share an experience. Some days you are laughing together, some days laughing at each other and sometimes, you exchange a look that needs no words, because it is understood. And sometimes, the person besides you stops and watches you and starts to root for you and cheers your awesomeness! And other times, they your frustration and it feels better already!
This is the kula
The more diverse the group, the stronger the community.
It is there to support you and remind you of your awesomeness, of your beauty. There may be someone in the kula who believes in you more than you believe in yourself or vice versa. It is a place that makes you feel good. A place that you can go to when you have had a rubbish day, to soak in the spirit of the kula, that leaves you feeling better most of the time, even if just in a small way.
This is the joy of togetherness.
And if you have happiness, share it. Share it in the kula and beyond; 
your wealth, your possessions, your time, music, art, knowledge; 
share it because it is not possible to be happy alone

namaskar
thank you for 7 amazing (yoga) years 

Sthira - Sukham

स्थिरसुखमासनम् 

sthira-sukham-āsanam

sthira (strong, steady, stable) sukham (comfortable, easeful, joyful) asanam (asana, posture)

The practice of yoga should be steady, stable as well as comfortable

-Patanjali, Yoga Sutra 2.46

I remember a time when not much of my practice was sthira or sukham! When i first stepped onto a yoga mat, i could barely sit upright, and my ego and competitiveness would just push and push and push. I think sukham was missing for many years of it. I loved it even then, in all it's un-sukham-ness! But wow! Once it had found me, how incredible did it feel??

It took some time for me to realise that this practice is a journey of un-determined, if not indefinite, time. So it is expected that it will take time to find sthira, sukham. I notice often how frustrated people get with themselves and even how discouraged they become when they try a pose and fall, or wobble or just did not get it. I have been there myself. When i demonstrate* poses in class sometimes and maybe it looks so sthira and sukham, I hope they hear my words that it took years to get here and many years to come in transforming my yoga practice- in my body and in my mind. And really...not finding this (sthira, sukham) right away is a great gift of the practice. When the body is wobbly, the mind becomes so much more focused and starts to understand that the sthira and sukham actually starts from within, not from the physical body, from from deep inside.


* This is also why I hardly demonstrate in class unless necessary. 
I hope it does not come across as laziness hahaha. 


So anyway... never be discouraged. If the person next to you is stable as a statue, remember that they too once flapped their arms, fell on their faces and their bottoms and struggled with all the internal dialogue, and that one day, you will also get there, to a place that feels sthira and sukham.

Enjoy your journey! <3

Sweetness of Practice

 

Today is day 5 of my current visit home to Malaysia. The way things worked out this time (eg: I was on a night flight for the first time ever), I started my trip with a weird jetlag. I would be up by 04.00 & made an early decision to pop into the Mysore ashtanga sessions till my clock sorted itself out. Of course, the practice itself put my clock on track within the 2nd day. However, I have stuck to the practice. 

I stopped (regular) ashtanga practice after discovering vinyasa flow. I was struggling with it so much & when I got into the vinyasa practice, I felt like a whole new happy world was revealed to me. I was a asana yogi at this time. I am pretty sure my teachers then explained that the yoga starts when the crap comes, but I heard nothing. All I felt was my tight body, all I understood were my limitations & my ego played up every day when I was not allowed to continue into the sequence. 

Today has been like one of those 'eureka' days. I started to recall all those things this morning, probably because I started to feel them again! But I have learnt some things since then and saw the opportunity I had missed back then to deal with those things. I guess that is just how the journey of practice flows, except that these days, there are many more teachers out there, many more combined experiences & many more avenues to share and receive these teachings so that we may miss less opportunities. (Awesome stuff!)

Anyway, in this Ashtanga practice, I am not very far off where I left it last! Lol It is not surprising since, in my own practice, I tend to leave the things that I do not enjoy & have been fortunate that they do not come up in class often! (Especially Marichayasana D) Fixed practices are great for me- I know I am not great at making myself work through the difficult stuff. And really, I know better, life is not just about the good stuff. The sweetness of life is made up of the great stuff and the tough stuff. Today, it was clear to me what has been missing from my practice. Don't get me wrong, I do do the tough stuff...but only the ones I like (*laughs*) The thing about fixed sequences is the repetition. Learning to "fail" every day until you succeed is a great practice in itself! 

All the yoga practices begin when the challenges begin. The practice of yama, niyama, asana, pranayama, pratyhara, dharana, samadhi begins. The sweetness begins...

Namaste

Zen Mouse

Last week, amidst my fuzzy head, a small teaching related "issue" came up. It was not something uncomfortable but it occupied my mind all day because in a recent survey I had conducted, a similar comment was raised. At the end of the day, I began to write something to address everyone and consulted with a friend who teaches in a similar capacity. Let's refer to my friend as the zen mouse. I am sure there will be many teachings from him in the future on my blog. He is so wise but so humble, I thought of the symbolic story of the mouse that Ganesh sits on; hence, the zen mouse...

He reminded me...

"....we teach with ourselves as a tool. We open up and let it just be there, so in some ways it is personal. The teaching and the meeting is personal- but it is not the same as being close personal friends with everyone"

This is especially true when it is a small shala and a small town / city where we actually have the opportunity to get to know each other. I am really grateful for this, because I am not so sure I would be so deeply engaged in a large studio or city where I am unfamiliar with most of the people who walk in. It is not that I will share any less, but the conversations would not be the same. Over the years, some of my clients have also gone on to become my friends, regardless of whether they are still in class or not.

However, the challenge arises when there is some degree of familiarity, because expectation starts to grow. We become a little more sensitive - just like we are with family members, because we are comfortable with it. And in a way, this is quite sweet.

I hope you all know that when you stop coming to class, it does not go unnoticed. I notice all of you. But I am very aware that nothing is permanent and do not expect you to be in class forever. I am comfortable with change and welcome it. I will seldom contact you to check on you unless I know you have been ill and want to know if things are o.k. The space is there for you to come and go as you please and you never have to explain anything (unless you wish to) and please, never feel obliged to, and never feel awkward about something like that. 

However, if I have hurt you in any way, by doing or not doing something that was expected or unexpected, then I sincerely offer my apologies. I try give my time and space as fairly as possible but at times, just as with life, what I want does not equate what happens or what translates. I live another day to learn :-) Namaste

iS It O.k?

Some days, I feel so challenged by my job. When I decided to teach yoga, I never thought it would change my life in so many ways; especially the way see myself...

A friend asked, "why do we feel we have to train so much"...

It is a mad world... 
The job makes you question yourself a lot
Here are a few thought patterns...

"OMG did I say the right thing? Was that actually right??" 
-checks books, refers website, consults teachers... and then even after all that, checks again..

"Oh man, that was not good / That did not feel right"
- goes and practice 

"They are not getting any better, I am not doing something"
-checks books, refers website, consults teachers... and then even after all that, checks again..

"They are amazing!! I need to keep up if I want to keep serving them"
- increase practice, does more training, workshops, classes etc

"what did she just say??" "maksikanagasana" wt...
- goes and studies asana index again

"man! words are not flowing out of the mouth today"
- sulks

"Can't do that! Can't do that! Can't do that!"
- ponders... decides it's not important one day, decides it is the next - depending on who's training or workshop just attended 

"fibula, tibia, ulna, radius...psoas..where is it again?? S.I, T-bands...arrgghhh"
- studies more anatomy

"chakra? yes yes, I can name the seven, no i don't know how to cleanse them and i cannot tell if they are blocked"
-...... 

"yayy full class tonight!"
- delighted smirking

"so few in class today. I suck"
-panics

Attends a class "wow! she is amazing! am i like that? I don't think so..."
- worries

Hahaha
I love my job. It is a constant challenge to believe in myself, trust what I know and to trust the universe <3